I killed the planet.

So, it's Labour Day, and I have a car rented for the weekend, but after two straight days of road trippin' the south shore of Nova Scotia I decided to keep it on the couch for a day. I got halfway through Muslim Societies in African History and somehow segued into watching the football game when it occurred to me that a good use of the rental would be to go fetch myself a burger and poutine from Harvey's. Yeah, seems like a good return on my fifty-dollar investment.

(I sincerely miss Harvey's burgers, I must confess. I still resent the way that McDonald's muscled a veritable Canadian institution off Spring Garden Road, and since I don't own a car, there's really no location anymore that I find convenient. So it's been months since the last time I got my flame-broiled burger on.)

Ten minutes and $8.64 later, the girl was handing me my bag-o-food through the drivethrough window and I thought to myself, "That feels pretty heavy for just a burger and poutine." I continued to wonder about the extra weight as I sat at a traffic light behind a car bumper-stickered "Real Men Love Jesus."

I came home, poured myself a can of Sapporo (what is football, a burger, and poutine without beer?) and opened the magical brown paper bag, instantly solving the mystery. Here is what I found in addition to my burger, poutine, and plastic fork:

• 3 packets of vinegar
• 10 (!) packets of ketchup
• 6 packets of salt
• 6 packets of pepper

and last, but not least

• 21 napkins.

That's twenty-one napkins, folks.

Now that we've observed that brief moment of silence for the two trees that went into my meal packaging, I just want to ask... who adds ketchup to their poutine? That's just gross. But really, suppose some of you like a little ketchup with your poutine... who adds ten packages of ketchup to anything?

I have enough condiments now to get me through the next week.